How to Stop People Pleasing: Embrace Your True Self
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Understanding the Impact of Others
There are individuals who seem to thrive on draining the energy from those around them. This may sound harsh, but many can relate to having encountered such personalities. A notable example is a former supervisor of mine. She often expressed sentiments like:
- "You lack proactivity."
- "You struggle to adapt to changes."
- "I feel compelled to micromanage your work."
The key phrase here is "I feel compelled to micromanage you." This was her perception, not a reflection of my capabilities. I now understand that it stemmed from her own need for control. At the time, I internalized these criticisms, questioning why I wasn't favored or what I might have done to upset her. It was a disheartening experience that left me feeling powerless.
With the benefit of hindsight, I've come to realize that I wasn't alone in facing her challenges; many others felt the same way. It's crucial to recognize that you cannot alter another person's behavior; the only thing under your control is how you respond. I wished for her kindness, just as she wanted me to conform to her standards. Ultimately, one of us would always end up feeling let down in that scenario.
Be True to Yourself
I am who I am, and I am who I choose to be. There was a time when I feared losing my identity in my quest to please others. The truth is, striving to satisfy everyone is futile. It took me years to grasp this lesson, primarily through my experiences with that former boss. You cannot cater to everyone’s needs because you don’t dictate the outcomes. The only thing you can manage is your own mindset and energy.
To safeguard your peace, take necessary steps—sometimes, that means distancing yourself from toxic environments.
Get to Know Yourself
Take the time to understand who you are. Cultivate trust in your instincts. Have faith in your own worth.
Be courageous.
Be unapologetically you.
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First published on 22 December 2023.
Chapter 1: Recognizing Toxic Relationships
In this chapter, we explore the signs of toxic relationships and their effects on mental well-being.
Section 1.1: The Nature of Control
Understanding how control manifests in relationships can help you navigate them more effectively.
Subsection 1.1.1: The Influence of External Opinions
Section 1.2: The Power of Self-Trust
Learn how fostering self-trust can lead to healthier interactions and improved mental health.
Chapter 2: Steps to Personal Empowerment
The first video titled "6 Steps to Stop People Pleasing and Start Doing What's Right For You" provides actionable advice on reclaiming your autonomy and focusing on self-care.
The second video, "How to Stop Being a People Pleaser," offers insights and strategies for breaking free from the cycle of seeking approval from others.