A Transformative Journey: Lessons from 10 Days of Silence
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Chapter 1: The Essence of Free Will
In my experience, free will embodies the power of choice. It’s not about the events we encounter in life, but rather our emotional responses to them. Ultimately, the only aspect we truly control is how we react to various situations — from the faintest bodily sensation to the loss of a loved one or our own mortality.
While this notion may not seem revolutionary, its implications are significant. I learned this firsthand during my ten days of silence. For instance, when I responded to an unpleasant thought or memory with agitation, frustration, or anger, I felt sensations like itchiness, heat, numbness, or even pain. This reaction would lead me to lose mental balance and spiral into chaos.
“You are the first victim of your own choice.” — Goenkaji
Conversely, when I engaged with happy or pleasurable thoughts, I experienced lightness and tingling sensations throughout my body, making me feel as if I could meditate indefinitely. However, as these pleasant feelings faded — which they invariably did — I again lost my mental balance, yearning for their return. It truly is a fickle cycle!
Buddha wisely stated, “Attachment is the root of all suffering.”
Section 1.1: The Pathway to Liberation
In my recent article, “The 4-Step Pathway to Heaven or Hell,” I detailed the tumultuous journey of meditation.
Vipassana meditation actively works to alter habitual reaction patterns of the mind, targeting the unconscious self with one ultimate goal: liberation. However, changing these ingrained habits is challenging, as it involves three subconscious steps before transformation occurs:
- Cognition: The body collects information through sensory inputs — sight, sound, touch, taste, smell, and thought.
- Recognition: The mind labels these experiences — whether it’s a car engine nearby or a distant memory.
- Judgment: This part of the brain assesses the information received, determining safety and assessing enjoyment or discomfort, thus shaping our reactions.
When this judging part concludes, the body reacts accordingly. For example, a disliked music choice might provoke irritation, while encouraging words from a loved one can elicit calmness.
The most challenging lesson I gleaned during those ten days of silence was recognizing this reactive mind and acknowledging its self-destructive tendencies. This awareness enabled me to reprogram my mind for more constructive responses. The silence transformed from an unbearable noise into a state of blissful stillness.
“When you can bear your own silence, you are free.” — Mooji
Subsection 1.1.1: Understanding Our Primal Instincts
Humans are inherently designed for pleasure and survival, wired to prioritize these instincts. While we cannot eliminate these impulses, we can control our responses. This is where Vipassana meditation plays a crucial role, aiming to transcend cravings and aversions by observing bodily sensations without attachment.
While it may sound straightforward, this practice proved to be the most challenging endeavor of my life. However, in those rare moments of balanced stillness, I discovered that beyond my cravings and aversions lay simple bodily sensations, which are the essence of our being.
The complexity arises when we assign narratives to these sensations, leading to thoughts, emotions, and actions based on their transient nature. Unconsciously, we start reacting to these sensations, tethering our emotional well-being to them. This is when we inadvertently become our sensations.
Fortunately, everything changed when I stopped allowing sensations to dictate my feelings. I cultivated a newfound curiosity about what these sensations represent. I began to welcome them, asking myself, “What does anger feel like?” or “What’s this persistent pain in my shoulder?”
This marked a significant shift from generating frustration towards these feelings. Instead, I harnessed a silent superpower: I could sit with discomfort, embrace it, and even enjoy it.
It may sound peculiar, but this realization allowed me to truly appreciate Tony Robbins’ insight: “Pain is a part of life, but suffering is optional.”
Chapter 2: Insights from My Journey
In this video, I share my ten-day experience of meditating in silence, reflecting on the challenges and insights that emerged from the retreat.
This video chronicles my life-changing journey of meditating nonstop for ten days, revealing the transformative power of silence and introspection.
Want to explore further?
Here are some additional reflections from my silent meditation retreat:
10 Lessons Learned During 10 Days of Silent Vipassana Meditation
It began with a tumultuous 100 hours, followed by a spark of hope — here’s my full experience.