Transforming Awkward Responses into Coaching Opportunities
Written on
Chapter 1: The Challenge of Coaching Awkward Andy
It all started with a solid foundation. I had immersed myself in numerous books and learned from the incredible Curly Martin. I spent countless hours watching TED talks, envisioning myself standing on that iconic red dot. My workspace was adorned with sticky notes featuring motivational quotes like “Believe and achieve!” and “Leadership is action, not position!” I even had my N.L.P. coaching certificate proudly displayed.
But then came Awkward Andy. He was reminiscent of a radio editor trapped in the past, or like a slow dial-up connection in our fast-paced world. I felt thoroughly prepared, armed with a coaching question meant to prompt deep self-reflection: “What’s preventing you from connecting with your target audience?”
As I posed my question, I felt an unexpected tension. And then came the dreaded response that can deflate any coach's enthusiasm: “I don’t know.”
Chapter 1.1: Embracing the Unknown
I vividly recall the first time someone replied with “I don’t know.” It felt as though my coaching guide had turned to ashes! For a moment, I even contemplated whether raising llamas might be simpler. I knew someone who sponsored a llama that managed to fall off a cliff—talk about a disaster!
However, here's the truth: “I don’t know” should not be viewed as an obstacle. When faced with such a response, it’s crucial to pause and remember your primary role is to facilitate growth and learning, not to showcase your own knowledge. Often, the silence can provide more insights about Awkward Andy than a barrage of words.
Let’s consider that Andy might not be avoiding the question for fun; he may genuinely lack answers, and that’s perfectly acceptable. It presents a beginning rather than an end.
When I was new to coaching, I often jumped into the silence with a flood of “helpful” suggestions, akin to throwing confetti—confusing and likely to push Andy further into his shell. I learned that coaching requires patience, much like allowing bread to rise.
Section 1.1.1: The Right Questions to Ask
In situations where Andy appears lost, resist the impulse to fill the silence immediately. Encourage him to take a moment to gather his thoughts and reassure him that it’s completely okay to not have instant answers.
Consider asking questions that may reveal Andy’s hidden strengths, such as, “What could be some underlying reasons?” This nudges him toward deeper self-exploration. Alternatively, you might ask, “What would it look like if you did have an answer?” This gentle inquiry invites him to envision possibilities beyond his current limitations.
Section 1.2: Building a Connection Through Vulnerability
Sharing your own stories of confusion can foster a sense of camaraderie. Few things strengthen relationships like mutual experiences of uncertainty. By being authentic and supportive, you can guide Awkward Andy toward transformation—perhaps into Astute Andy or even Amazing Andy.
Creating a safe space for exploration and the acceptance of mistakes is vital for growth.
Chapter 2: Action Steps for Coaches
Embrace the uncertainty of “I don’t know.” View it as an invitation to delve deeper into the coaching journey. Step back, nurture curiosity in both yourself and Andy, and don’t hesitate to revisit those challenging questions. Who knows? Awkward Andy might surprise you—and himself—with an insightful response next time!
Remember, you’ve got this! I enjoy coaching with curiosity, and I even have a ginger cat named Walter. My background includes running radio stations, and I’m the author of "The Imposter Syndrome" available on Audible.