Chapter 1: The Cinderella Archetype

In my professional experience, the majority of my clients are women. This trend can be attributed to a cultural perception in the post-Soviet region, where it is often deemed "unmanly" for men to seek psychological help. The prevailing attitude is that men prefer to handle their issues independently, leading to an environment where expressing vulnerability is frowned upon.

In my practice, I frequently encounter what I refer to as the "Cinderellas," women typically aged between 32 and 50. A defining characteristic of these individuals is their heightened anxiety, paired with an uncanny ability to maintain a smile, even in distressing situations. Their inclination to be agreeable and accommodating stems from childhood experiences where being flexible was a strategy to keep parental harmony. Parents often remark, "I never had any issues with her growing up," labeling them as the "golden child."

However, parents often overlook the implications of this behavior on their child's development and social skills. Even tumultuous stages like adolescence can pass unnoticed for these girls, as they may not assert their needs or boundaries.

If a child during puberty is not standing up for themselves, rebelling, or expressing their opinions, it is crucial for parents to reflect on the following questions:

• What is truly happening in their life?
• Does my child have a perspective of their own?
• Are their desires and aspirations being voiced?
• Are they overly focused on pleasing others?

Let’s revisit the concept of Cinderellas. For many, the transition into adulthood occurs with a significant delay, especially for those labeled as "good girls." As they enter motherhood, they often find themselves in relationships with partners who appreciate their accommodating nature, leading to a dynamic where the husband is relaxed and self-assured—qualities that may not align with the Cinderella's internal struggles.

When I begin working with these women, I emphasize the necessity of being ready for life changes as they embark on their journey toward self-discovery. This path may challenge the status quo, as not every partner who has grown accustomed to an obedient Cinderella will embrace the emergence of a more assertive Princess.

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