The Core Concept

The 3 to 1 practice serves as a reflective tool that can be applied frequently across various aspects of your work. Whether you're in the learning phase or focusing on continuous improvement, this method is highly versatile. The principle is simple: when assessing your performance—be it your mindset, techniques, systems, relationships, or any other work element—identify three things that went well and one area that needs improvement.

Why This Approach Works

The effectiveness of this 3:1 ratio lies in several key advantages:

• It minimizes over-analysis, unproductive rumination, and the stress of trying to address everything at once.
• Focusing on what comes to mind first is usually adequate for making progress.
• Regular application ensures that all significant matters are acknowledged and addressed.
• It maintains a healthy balance of positive to negative reflections.
• The insights gained align well with the day-to-day realities of running a business.

The three positive reflections can significantly influence your business outcomes by:

• Cultivating awareness and enhancing your mindset and mood.
• Clarifying the value you provide, your competitive edge, and how these attributes support business growth.
• Reinforcing learning by recognizing achievements and fostering a growth-oriented mindset.

By limiting the focus on just one area for improvement, you can:

• Concentrate on the most pressing issue.
• Keep your weaknesses in perspective compared to your strengths.
• Develop and emphasize your strengths, which are more energizing and conducive to business success.
• Facilitate ongoing learning and growth necessary for long-term stability.

Putting the Practice to Use

What does this practice look like in real scenarios? Below are composite examples from different facets of my business.

1. Assessing a Coaching Session:
   • Positive: I’m increasingly aware of what works best for each client.
   • Positive: Being authentic during sessions enhances my effectiveness.
   • Positive: Natural curiosity leads to better outcomes than overly structured questions.
   • Work on: Remember to ask clients what they took away from each session.

Note: Acknowledging my progress as a coach boosts my confidence while allowing me to identify one area for improvement.

2. Reviewing My Writing on Medium:
   • Positive: Writing articles based on recurring questions is effortless.
   • Positive: I have enough data to understand which topics resonate most with readers.
   • Positive: I’ve developed a system for capturing and organizing ideas for future articles.
   • Work on: Enhance reader engagement throughout the entire article.

Note: Recognizing my progress encourages me to embrace new challenges.

3. Reflecting on Client Interactions:
   • Positive: I have established effective systems for managing publishing projects.
   • Positive: My team and I communicate well, leading to high-quality results.
   • Positive: I’m receiving more client referrals through LinkedIn since sharing my articles.
   • Work on: Improve my follow-up reminders to ensure no tasks slip through the cracks.

Note: This review highlights the stability of my project management work while reminding me to stay proactive in my outreach efforts.

Combating Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS)

Neuroscientist Dr. Daniel Amen emphasizes the importance of combating Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS) as a pathway to fostering positivity. These thoughts can be particularly challenging for individuals navigating the uncertainties of self-employment. When external factors are out of our control, we may become overly critical of ourselves, especially when our business struggles. The 3:1 ratio helps mitigate these negative thoughts by providing a structured framework for self-evaluation.

The Importance of Effective Communication

Research from John Gottman and others sheds light on why this practice is both effective and sustainable. Our self-talk and evaluations are forms of communication, and how we relate to ourselves reflects our internal relationship.

Gottman found that a ratio of at least 5:1 positive to negative interactions in relationships predicts long-term stability and satisfaction. A similar principle applies to our self-assessments: having more positive than negative reflections correlates with happiness and well-being.

This suggests that utilizing the 3:1 ratio isn’t merely a feel-good exercise; it is essential for maintaining a positive mindset, fostering growth, and ensuring both mental and physical well-being.