Embracing Your Authenticity: Why Others' Opinions Don't Matter
Written on
Chapter 1: Understanding the Burden of External Approval
“Every time you attempt to be something other than yourself, you are trying to defy the very laws of the universe.” — Bryony Gordon
In my life, I juggle two full-time commitments: my regular job from 9 to 5, and my ongoing struggle with the anxiety of what others might think of me. The latter is particularly draining. Why does this matter so much to us?
Our social nature drives us to seek acceptance; being part of a group historically boosts our chances of survival. However, this preoccupation with others' perceptions often backfires, diminishing our happiness instead of enhancing it.
I realize that striving for universal approval is a fruitless endeavor, akin to being a meddler who is overly concerned with others’ opinions. That’s not the person I want to be moving forward.
Section 1.1: The Reality of Acceptance
Some people will dislike you, and that’s perfectly okay.
There's a saying in Spanish that translates to, “We cannot expect to be universally liked, as we are not gold coins meant to please everyone.” Everyone's preferences are shaped by their unique backgrounds and experiences—factors you cannot control. Just as not everyone favors the same color, not everyone will resonate with you. Embrace this reality and do not dilute your true self for the sake of others.
Subsection 1.1.1: Authenticity vs. Conformity
I've attempted to gain the approval of everyone, which led me to suppress various facets of my personality to fit into others’ expectations. This journey almost caused me to lose my sense of self. The masks I wore to gain acceptance became a hindrance when I sought to reconnect with who I genuinely am.
If you find that everyone seems to like you, it's likely that you are concealing parts of yourself that you deem unworthy. While this charade might seem manageable initially, over time it will drain you.
Section 1.2: The Importance of Internal Validation
It's essential to acknowledge that my desire for external validation stemmed from my own dissatisfaction with myself. I thought that if others liked me, it would lead to my own self-acceptance. However, I was gravely mistaken.
Even if you receive universal acclaim, it won’t matter if you don’t value yourself. The most crucial approval comes from within.
Chapter 2: The Cost of Seeking External Validation
This video explores why seeking approval from others can lead to unhappiness and how to embrace your true self.
In this video, the message emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance over external validation, encouraging viewers to find happiness within.
Here are some crucial aspects you sacrifice by prioritizing others' opinions:
Your Authenticity
To appease everyone, you may find yourself altering your personality to fit others’ desires, ultimately sacrificing parts of yourself that you cherish. This ongoing adjustment will leave you feeling like a puppet to others’ whims. Genuine happiness can only be achieved through authentic living; constantly seeking approval from others will cost you your joy.
Your Self-Esteem
By relying on others’ approval, you inadvertently place your self-worth in their hands. This precarious situation leaves you vulnerable, as opinions can fluctuate rapidly. Your self-esteem should be built on a solid foundation: your own perception of your value.
Personal Growth
Growth is characterized by experimentation, failures, and setbacks—elements that we often try to hide. If you are too afraid to take risks due to the fear of disappointing others, you will miss out on opportunities for growth. Ironically, that fear could lead to the very outcome you want to avoid: losing others’ approval.
In Conclusion…
While there are many uncontrollable factors in life, the one thing you can manage is your self-perception. Chasing external validation only leads to a hollow existence. Seek your own approval, and you will discover true happiness and contentment, along with all the elements that make life worthwhile.
Happy living!