Chapter 1: The Anticipation Before the Show

The venue was buzzing with energy, the band was electrifying, and the atmosphere was charged. I was set to take the stage as the night’s headliner. Three acts had already performed, and the crowd was growing more lively — a common occurrence as the drinks flowed.

As the band concluded their set with an impressive finale, they began to slowly disassemble their equipment, taking their time. Over the next quarter of an hour, the audience gradually trickled toward the back of the room and eventually left altogether.

When it was finally my turn to set up, the room was nearly empty, and I could almost hear crickets — again, not literally, but you understand what I mean.

“OH NO,” echoed in my mind, not quite using the word 'no.' My excitement to share my music with an eager audience evaporated.

For those unfamiliar with my background, I’m an actor and musician based in LA, juggling family life as a husband and father of two. A decade ago, I enjoyed some success with a touring rock band, and now I’m reigniting my solo music career, releasing tracks and performing around LA to create some buzz. This leads me to moments where I question, “What am I doing with my life?”

As an independent artist, the challenges are numerous, some specific to musicians while others mirror the struggles of launching any business. The weight of these challenges felt immense, and I could hear the distressed voice of my three-year-old self crying out, “I don’t wanna!”

But then I heard another voice — perhaps my future self at seventy-three, let’s call it my inner Yoda — say, “Go take a moment for yourself.”

I followed that advice, headed to the restroom, and once inside, I looked deep into my own reflection.

I spoke to myself, saying, “You can’t control how many people are out there; that’s beyond your influence. What you can control is your performance tonight. So take a breath, step out there, and give it your all for whoever is present. Pour your heart into every word and every note. Understood?”

I nodded, affirmatively.

And with that, I exited the bathroom, ready to execute the plan.

Chapter 2: Embracing the Moment

I remember stepping onto the stage and gazing into the nearly vacant room — just a few friends, the promoter, the bartender, the sound technician, and maybe a couple of patrons. Yet, I felt a profound sense of calm. I had found clarity in my purpose for the next hour.

I committed to delivering my best performance. To my surprise, as we continued, more people began filtering in, gradually filling the space in front of the stage. With each song, the energy intensified, and by the end, the dance floor was buzzing with life.

The audience was engaged, hanging onto every lyric and note. They had joined me on this ride, and that’s why I do what I do: to uplift people and help them escape the monotony of everyday life, even if just for an hour.

This experience was pivotal — perhaps one of the most significant lessons I’ve learned as a performer (and as a person!). As my high school coach used to say, “Give it your all.”

Every opportunity to pursue your passion deserves your complete dedication. Regardless of the crowd size, just give. This way, you’ll never regret holding back your gifts while waiting for a bigger opportunity.

I didn’t land a record deal that night, but what I gained was far more valuable: the realization that my performance and emotions don’t have to be dictated by my surroundings. It took years to grasp this, and I hope it doesn’t take you as long. Once you internalize this lesson, it becomes a permanent part of you.

I’ve written and recorded a song that encapsulates this experience beautifully. It’s titled "Light It Up," and the chorus reflects this journey:

“Let’s light it up

Let’s light it up like the stars in the sky

Let’s tear it down let’s tear it down like them walls in the night

Let’s rip it up let’s rip it up like the past of our lives

Let’s light it up let’s light it up like the stars in the sky”

I hope you enjoy it:

Read more from The Good Men Project on Medium:

• The 5 Stages of Love and the 4 Brain Characters That Determine if Your Marriage Succeeds or Fails
• The Dream of a Healthy Marriage — an Open Letter to Husbands Regarding His Attention for Her
• The Real True Story About How Parents Adopted Out Their Child When He Told Them He Was Gay

About Ari Welkom

Ari Welkom, known on stage as Avatari, is an alt-rock singer and actor based in Los Angeles. A graduate of Harvard, he balances family life as a married father of two, while also advocating against bullying and promoting equal rights on his recovery journey.