Chapter 1: The Summer of Uncertainty

In the summer of 2020, at just 21 years old, I encountered my first real existential crisis. With a global pandemic unfolding, I believed the priority was simply to survive. Meanwhile, my peers seemed to be thriving, launching startups and non-profit organizations. This stark contrast left me feeling adrift, questioning my purpose. As a psychology student, I felt as though I should have all the answers, yet I found myself believing I was uniquely burdened by this feeling of confusion.

Much like the fable of the tortoise and the hare, I felt like that slow-moving turtle, convinced that even with a year of rest, the hare would still be leagues ahead.

The 20s often present a stark contradiction to the carefree life we were promised. Instead of joy and adventure, many young adults grapple with feelings of confusion, anxiety, and even despair. You're thrust from a sheltered existence into a whirlwind of choices. Even when you find some stability, it often feels like nothing around you makes sense. Relationships don’t match the fairy tales of our youth, job opportunities seem limited, climate issues loom large, and housing is a constant struggle.

The narrative of "Happily Ever After" seems nowhere in sight, leading many of us to conclude that the issue lies within ourselves.

"Hello, it's me. I’m the problem, it’s me."

Does that resonate?

If so, it’s no surprise, considering the plethora of YouTube videos dedicated to the overwhelming sensation of being lost in your 20s.

In this context, I stumbled upon a short video that suggested feeling lost is an inherent aspect of the human condition. According to Sadhguru, a renowned spiritual leader, our critical thinking capabilities often lead us to feel lost.

My takeaway from this enlightening video was that our recurring feelings of being lost stem from our desire for improvement. Perhaps the journey through our 20s isn’t solely about charting a definitive path; rather, it’s about the continual process of getting lost and rediscovering what truly inspires us.

Scientific research indicates that the adult brain doesn’t fully mature until around age 25, so how can we be expected to have every aspect of our lives figured out? In a world that is perpetually changing, new opportunities arise at a rapid pace. Instead of viewing this uncertainty as a burden, we can see it as a blessing—an invitation to learn and grow.

As you navigate through life, you’ll encounter individuals who may have mastered certain skills before you, but that’s perfectly acceptable—as long as you don’t lose faith in your capacity for growth. It’s the stagnation of the mind that leads to decay, so embracing feelings of being lost can actually be beneficial for your mental health.

Remember, your 20s represent just the first quarter of your life. There’s an abundance of inspiring individuals yet to come into your life who will uplift and cherish you. While it may seem ideal for everything to fall into place early on, consider what excitement remains in life if all your dreams are fulfilled too quickly.

This article isn't designed to provide instant happiness about your 20s. Instead, it aims to validate the feeling of being lost as a normal response to our current realities. What’s crucial is to recognize that you are not alone in this experience and to keep nurturing your potential.

Embrace yourself with kindness, showing up daily with determination. So that in 20 years, when you reflect on your 20s, you’ll remember the journey of being lost, but also of being found.

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