Unexpected Outcomes of Voice-to-Text Misunderstandings
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Chapter 1: The Quirks of Voice Recognition
How does one manage to write with a broken wrist? Enter voice-to-text technology. While my computer generally excels at transcribing my thoughts into text, there are moments when it produces results that leave me scratching my head.
I primarily utilize Apple’s integrated tool on my Mac. The experience of watching the corrections unfold in real-time is quite entertaining. I begin speaking, and Apple starts interpreting. Frequently, the initial words that appear have only the faintest resemblance to what I intended to say. I've learned to keep the conversation flowing.
After a brief pause, Apple seems to have an epiphany: “Ah, now I understand where she was headed,” and the entire sentence adjusts to align with my actual speech. I often notice this moment of clarity reflected on my spouse’s face during our dinner chats.
According to my daughter, who works in the tech sector, Apple’s voice recognition system continuously learns from the myriad of inquiries directed at Siri. A dedicated team of brilliant minds invests their efforts into teaching machines to comprehend the nuances of human conversation.
It's truly remarkable. Although I tend to ramble, Apple keeps pace with me better than most family members. It is infinitely more patient and listens attentively, regardless of how far off-topic I stray.
However, I digress. The essence of this narrative isn’t about how often the technology gets it right, but rather the humorous instances when it misinterprets my words. There are moments when I halt and exclaim, “Seriously, Apple? Who in their right mind would say that instead of this?” Yes, perhaps I’m not entirely rational, but have you browsed the internet lately? I like to think I’m more sane than a good portion of the online community.
Before I wander too far, here are some of my favorite instances where Apple’s interpretations left me bewildered.
Video: How to fix voice text android phone - YouTube
This video provides helpful solutions for troubleshooting common voice-to-text issues on Android devices.
Section 1.1: Baffling Misinterpretations
The Braless Dilemma
While drafting a humorous article about the struggle of putting on a bra with one hand, I spoke the following sentence:
“I’ve always envied women who are small enough to go braless.”
What did Apple hear?
“I’ve always envied women who are small enough to go brawl us.”
What on earth? Is Apple suggesting that petite women, like small dogs, are more prone to engage in fights?
In this era of remote work and pandemic fashion, is there truly more dialogue about brawling than going braless? Is this yet another jab from the tech industry's prevailing patriarchal norms?
Wedding Registries and Mathematicians
When discussing wedding registries, I attempted to say:
“Marry a mathematician.”
Apple translated this to:
“Marry repetition.”
Okay, I can concede that more individuals may choose to go braless than those who opt to marry a mathematician, but who in their right mind would marry repetition? Is that even permissible? If it is, just wait; the Supreme Court might soon challenge that right.
Are mathematicians truly synonymous with repetition? Sure, some might have a penchant for eating the same meal repeatedly, but we shouldn't stereotype an entire profession. The mathematicians I know are some of the most innovative thinkers out there. Why do you think I chose to marry one?
Azmeer: A Mystery
In the same wedding registry story, I aimed to say:
“My spouse and I got engaged as mere babies.”
Instead, Apple interpreted it as:
“My spouse and I got engaged Azmeer babies.”
What on earth are Azmeer babies? After some research, I discovered that Azmeer is an Urdu name meaning clever or pious, ranking quite low in popularity. This hardly seems likely for Apple to insert into my story.
The search led me to a YouTuber named Azmeer Gaming, who has 32.3K followers. I watched an unexpectedly engaging video featuring a man alongside a cow in a moving truck. I couldn't understand the language, but the content was amusing.
I asked my mathematician daughter how significant that follower count was. “That depends,” she replied, followed by an in-depth explanation that I hadn’t anticipated. The lessons here: marry a mathematician, and you might end up with one, and Azmeer is a cool name.
Video: How To Take Voice to Text Notes On Your Android SmartPhone
This tutorial demonstrates how to effectively utilize voice-to-text features on Android smartphones for note-taking purposes.
Section 1.2: The Absurdities of Voice-to-Text
Sliced Vagina?
While continuing my wedding registry narrative, I mentioned:
“We debated the pros and cons of a ginormous meat slicer.”
Apple transformed this into:
“We debated the pros and cons of a vagina meat slicer.”
What are you suggesting here, Apple? While “ginormous” may not be the Queen’s English, does it really have to lead to such a grotesque interpretation? There are no advantages to such an act; it's all cons.
Reflections on Aging
In another story regarding bathing while injured, I stated:
“When your body is bruised, battered, and achy.”
Apple aged me a few decades:
“When your body is bruised, battered, and 80.”
Alright, this one makes sense, but seriously, Apple? Talk about hitting below the belt.
Cat Concerns
As I continued, I said:
“First, I needed to keep my cast dry.”
Apple recorded:
“First, I needed to keep my cats dry.”
Statistically, more people likely discuss their cats than casts, but come on, Apple. Keeping a cast dry is a legitimate concern for those with injuries. Cats, on the other hand, generally manage to stay dry on their own.
I once had a cat who loved to perch on the tub's edge and lick my shoulder while I bathed. One day, she leaned a bit too far and fell in. Thankfully, she scrambled out and glared at me for laughing.
The Challenge of Getting Up
The crux of my bathing experience was the difficulty of rising. I described:
“We gave it a go.”
Apple interpreted this as:
“We gave it a girl.”
What? “We gave it a go” is a common phrase. Why would Apple suggest such a nonsensical alternative? Helping someone out of the bathtub isn't a gender-specific task. Can one even give a person? Should you? What are you implying here, Apple?
Chapter 2: A Grateful Conclusion
I’m genuinely thankful for voice-to-text technology. It's quite miraculous that it gets so much right. However, I'm equally pleased to be typing this out with my recently freed, albeit still stiff and sore, fingers. To all the programmers striving to enhance voice-to-text capabilities, I salute you and appreciate your contributions—and the entertaining blunders along the way.