The Descent into Gambling Addiction

My journey into gambling began earnestly at 21 when I started playing poker online. My fascination with the game led me to invest countless hours studying strategies and learning from seasoned players. Although I lacked the mathematical prowess of top competitors, I believed I could outsmart the average player.

Initially, I enjoyed modest wins, but one month changed everything—I hit an astonishing winning streak, raking in nearly €15,000, a life-altering sum for me at that time. It was exhilarating, and I was convinced I had discovered the key to an effortless lifestyle. But that success was short-lived.

Over the following seven years, my quest for that euphoric feeling spiraled into a full-blown addiction. My wins turned into losses, and I found myself gambling on anything that could provide a fleeting victory.

From Rock Bottom to Recovery: 1,000 Days Free from Gambling

After a decade of gambling, my life lay in ruins. It took me 1,000 days to reconstruct it.

Throughout those years, there were numerous occasions where I could have walked away unscathed. I lost count of how many times I won enough to clear my debts, often leaving me with a small surplus. Yet, those winnings rarely made it to my bank account.

Any rational person would have cashed out and quit, but my greed and addiction to the thrill of gambling kept me entangled. Whenever I lost a bet, a fog would envelop my mind, erasing any sense of rationality and willpower. I would obsessively chase my losses, neglecting the sensible choice of quitting while ahead.

I once had over €10,000 in my betting account and intended to take my dad on a trip to Barcelona for a football match. By the time we arrived, I had squandered all that money and accumulated even more debt by maxing out my credit card. Instead of enjoying quality time with my dad, I faced the grim reality of my financial mess back home.

This emotional rollercoaster continued for years, each high and low taking a toll on my mental well-being. It wasn't until 2020 that I sought help.

A Life-Changing Revelation

Therapy and group sessions were transformative for me. I finally found a supportive environment where I could discuss my addiction with individuals who understood my struggles.

One pivotal goal of therapy was to break down my behavior patterns and reprogram my brain to respond differently to the pain of losses and the subsequent urge to gamble. My therapist introduced me to a simple yet profound concept that shifted my entire outlook on gambling:

All wins are future losses.

This straightforward mantra changed everything. It may sound obvious to those unfamiliar with addiction, but it was an enlightening moment for me.

Reflecting on my largest wins at the poker table or in sports betting revealed a consistent pattern. Each win was merely a precursor to my eventual decline, regardless of whether the losses followed immediately or over time. Every cent I won eventually returned to the house, often with interest.

The fleeting wins only masked the eventual losses and perpetuated the illusion of control. My mind celebrated past victories while conveniently forgetting the painful losses that justified my continued gambling.

But not anymore. These five words have become my shield against temptation and irrational thoughts. I no longer perceive gambling as a source of fun or income. When urges emerge, I quell them by recalling that any temporary gain will inevitably lead to a painful relapse.

When I hear others discuss their winnings, it no longer triggers a response in me. I remind myself that they likely face greater long-term losses or will eventually return their winnings.

Because in gambling, the house always wins.