Chapter 1: Understanding the Impact of Addiction

Dealing with a loved one who is struggling with addiction can feel overwhelming. It's often a burden that one cannot shoulder alone. The grip of addiction frequently impairs a person's judgment, leading to the deterioration of vital relationships and personal stability.

After what I thought was a pleasant evening, I began to notice some troubling behaviors in my male friend. I’ll elaborate on that in my next piece. Among the various challenges we faced, this particular incident troubled me the most. Despite our discussions, it remained a source of concern.

That night, I found myself awake, contemplating my options. I wasn’t ready for a face-to-face conversation, and calling him would only complicate matters further. To avoid unnecessary conflict, I opted to send him this message:

“Good morning! I hope you arrived on time. I need some space to focus on myself. I appreciated certain moments we shared, so there are no hard feelings. Wishing you all the best. I’ll keep us both in my prayers. Take care.”

Then I blocked him.

Looking back, I realize I didn’t handle this situation well. I failed to consider that he was at a work event. I knew he would be upset, but I needed to put an end to the situation.

Later that evening, as I was about to enter a local bar, he exited. I attempted to remain casual, greeting him with, “Hey, how’s it going?” However, he was clearly not in a good mood.

“How am I!?” he exclaimed. “You send me a breakup text while I’m at my work event and then act as if nothing happened.” His frustration stemmed from the fact that he had to read my text without being able to reply at that moment. When he finally called, I had already blocked him.

I tried to ease the tension by walking and talking with him, but it escalated into a heated argument. In the end, we apologized to each other and acknowledged our individual areas for growth. Everything seemed to settle until he asked me to buy him a drink. I declined, and all our discussions felt pointless.

He accused me of being insincere in my apology, admitting that his kindness was merely a means to an end—getting back in my good graces. When I mentioned his intention to stop drinking, he called me derogatory names and told me to walk home.

While my feelings were hurt, I felt a strange sense of relief. He was honest enough to express his true feelings and end things between us. I decided to take this as a positive outcome and returned to karaoke, enjoying the rest of my evening. Fortunately, someone offered me a ride home, ensuring my safety.

Once home, I reflected on the events that had unfolded. I felt compelled to reach out to his mother regarding his behavior:

“Hello! We met at the bar recently. Normally, I wouldn’t do this, but I’m concerned about your son. He’s showing signs of extreme mood swings when he can’t drink, and tonight he was quite aggressive, even telling me to walk home. Many people cautioned me against getting involved with him, yet I genuinely care. I’m not sure if he has support, but I believe he’s in a dangerous place and needs help. Please keep this between us.”

She expressed gratitude for my message and shared that the family had already noted concerns about his drinking, which he had been advised to avoid. She inquired about his whereabouts and whether I had made it home safely. I assured her that I had a ride and thanked her for her concern.

He truly needs assistance. I can’t be the solution, but I refuse to contribute to the problem.

Chapter 2: Recognizing Signs of Alcoholism

He is a semi-functional alcoholic, exhibiting many red flags: borrowing money due to financial mismanagement, defensiveness, and mood swings. The only way he may seek help is by hitting rock bottom. He has outstanding fines and will soon face random alcohol and drug tests multiple times a month. None of this is my responsibility.

I will continue to pray for him while focusing on my own growth. Please keep me in your prayers as well.

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